Affliction

I mention this brand a lot on here, because they, at least for the moment I was paying attention, were the biggest brand churning out the style of clothing that was all tied up in MMA and other assorted douchebaggery. All scrolls, scripts, crosses, fluer de lis, and skulls. I saw a lot of it when I was working on Bourbon Street. When I left Bourbon, this style and my awareness of it, faded out of my brain quickly (thank you baby Jesus!). That was about 2 and half years ago, so I'll admit I'm in no way up to date on the current intricacies of this brand/trend.

And I've noticed something in my search for photos to compare with the western items I find- Affliction has grown up quite a bit. They're actually putting out some not-so-terrible stuff these days. So, when I use this brand in comparison with things "western wear" companies are putting out, please think of the brand as it was at the height of it's douchebaggery a few years ago, not as it is now. Trends run slow in the western wear world, I guess, since they're many years behind mainstream trend. I wish I could get release dates on the items I use in comparison, but that's hard to come by on a lot of them. Just assume that they're a couple years old unless otherwise stated.

Perhaps that means in another 5 years when Western Wear catches up to Affliction et al, they'll start putting things like this out- (from Affliction's fall collection). Who here wouldn't be more likely to buy one of these shirts over any of the "western wear" company items I've posted previously?

Bonus Shootout

Which is western? Answer after the jump.

Wear this, not that.

Wear this:
Here's something a little different. This is the purse I've been carrying for well over a year now. I was never the type to stick with one purse for any length of time until this one came along. It was made by Montana Silversmiths and has absolutely killer tooling. It goes with just about everything yours truly wears, and still looks as new as when I got it (at a thrift store for $3, by the way).

Of course, my love of this purse lead me to look at other Montana Silversmiths purses online.

Not This:




I shouldn't be surprised by this stuff any more, but dang. I thought Montana Silversmiths had some class. Guess if I want a new purse, I'll have to be content with enormous silver crosses and excessive use of studs. While this bag isn't as bad as most of the cross/cowgirl/western purses out there, it's not something I would ever use. I'm sure it's wonderfully well made, but that doesn't count for much when something looks as stupid as this purse does. Sigh.

Tuesday Reality Check

At this point, we've done quite a few posts on items covered with crosses and I want to talk a little more about that. I'm not anti-Christian and I'm not totally against people wearing crosses. I've used them in designs of my own, though those look nothing like the items I've showcased on here. What's the problem with the ones I've picked on here? They're tacky. There's nothing wrong with a cross, but when you make it out of hundreds of rhinestones, studs, and oddball fabrics or put it on an item with dozens of other crosses, it loses any meaning it had and is just another tired design object. If you want to wear crosses because you're Christian, knock yourself out. Just remember, as found in the beatitudes: Blessed are the meek; for they shall inherit the earth. There is nothing meek about wearing 500 crystal crosses on your belt, nothing at all. And don't even get me started on putting crosses all over the tack your horse wears, like some kind of Christian rabbit foot. Jesus is not here to help your horse run faster, it doesn't work like that.

Moving on.

Here's a western shirt by Scully that has a relatively tasteful cross. It's not lost in swirls and scrolls and is pretty. All around it's a nice shirt, just like we expect from Scully.

Mondays still make me cross.

Western Cowgirl describes this hat: Cute western SUPER BLINGED OUT cross rhinestone studded cap is SO hot right now ... a bold clear crystal studded cowgirl cross design centered on the front and loaded with silver studs.

Well.

It's not cute. It's not western. It is SUPER BLINGED OUT, I'll give you that. It's not hot, not now, not ever. And what you call a cowgirl cross looks an awful lot more like what most folks call a gothic cross.

Here's another item you can buy from Western Cowgirl- the New Western Cowgirl Rhinestone Studded Cross Handbag. They say it's designer inspired and that I'll love it, but I don't see that happening, do you?

We have leopard print, chains, rhinestones, studs, a huge cross, fake crocodile... what am I missing? What is it missing? I think this purse needs "COWGIRL" in silver foil on the backside, STAT!

Here, we continue poking Western Cowgirl, who also sells this belt and promises "YOU'LL FREAK OUT WHEN YOU GET IT HOME."

I was so excited to find it because it answers the question that has kept me awake at night for years- how many crystal crosses can you fit on a belt?! It's amazing really, although, admittedly, I'm a little disappointed that the buckle doesn't have any crosses, but I reckon you could always swap it out.

Seriously folks, if you're looking for a belt that  screams "I LOVE JESUS MORE THAN YOU DO Y'ALL", this sure is the belt for you. Get it now, cuz it's an exclusive store design, limited edition and all that.

Great brands gone bad

This is something that's been bugging me since I started this blog. Some, if not most, of my favorite brands are guilty of putting out some absolutely hideous items, things I wouldn't be caught dead in, things I wouldn't want even remotely associated with the things I wear. I've been tempted to leave out the bad apples from brands that I really love, but I think they have a place here too. 

So. I love Old Gringo. They fit my feet just right and one of my all time favorite pairs of boots were made by them. But these boots would fit right in on Mondays around here, when we showcase things with ridiculous crosses, so I just can't pardon them. They're not the worst cross covered boots out there, but I seriously expect better than this from Old Gringo. 

Saturday Shootout

Which is western? Answer after the break.

What?

I wasn't sure about posting this shirt, made by Wrangler, available through PFI Western, because it is western enough for me to give it a pass- nice yoke details and such.

But I seriously can't get over it, so here it is. Does it look more like latex a la dominatrix western, or does it look more like plastic a la garbage bag western?

If someone wants to buy me one so we can find out, that'd be alright.

I don't even...

Today we have another item that just blows my mind- the western zebra cross charm necklace available from The Texas Cowgirl. It's not western and it's hard to imagine the gal who could wear this combination and pull it off. It is vaguely reminiscent of some of the costume jewelry my grandmother wore with her brightly colored and sometimes floral patterned nylon windsuit sets in the early 90's, but I think it's considerably less tasteful than my grandma's choices.

The product description says that it's "very pretty in person"- I'm skeptical.

I couldn't resist throwing this one up too, also from the Texas Cowgirl. I believe this one is 'western jewelry as constructed by drunk preschoolers' style. It's lovely for what it is, give those kids a shot of Jack for me!

Wear this, not that.

Wear this:
Here are some awesome Rockmount shirts with horse shoe details. The details are super subtle but are a great touch that makes these shirts very cool, classy and western.

Not This:


It's not really fair to compare this to the above shirts, but heck, it's got a horse shoe too. That's about all they have in common. This shirt is by Katydid and available at Texas Cowgirl, who very specifically call it a western shirt.

Tuesday Reality Check

As you may or may not know, the name of this blog is inspired by a great book by Holly George Warren and Michelle Freedman, How the West was Worn (link to Amazon).

If you haven't read this book, you ought to go get a copy right now.  It's chock full of, well, how the west was worn, and is all the "reality check" you'll ever need.

Cowboy Tee Shirts

Today we are continuing yesterdays theme with some spectacularly bad cowboy tee shirts, all courtesy of Rock&Roll Cowboy.

Cowgirl Tee Shirts

Western wear companies making tee shirts is nothing new, they've been doing it for years. If memory serves, the designs used to revolve primarily around sentiments that appealed to their customer base- hence, all the shirts reading "cowgirl" with horses, cows, etc. of the past. Take a look at some current horribly misguided "cowgirl" tee shirts- and, yes, they all say cowgirl somewhere on them. Why not?

Shirt #1: Panhandle Slim, #2: Roper, #3:Panhandle Slim, #4:Rock&Roll Cowgirl

Saturday Shootout

Which is western? Answer after the jump.

Let's talk 90's.

If there ever was a decade of complete insanity in western wear to rival current times, it had to the 90's. There were tons of goofy shirts made then, many that look absolutely hilarious to us today, but there's one big difference between then and now. 90's western fashion was obviously influenced by mainstream fashion trends but it remained western.

Here's a doozy of a shirt, modeled by the man of 90's, Mr. Garth Brooks. 90's fashion trends are all over the place here. Color blocking? Yep. Bold colors? Yep. Goofy collar? Maybe, I can't tell, but I wouldn't be surprised. But western? Yeah, it is. It's ugly, but that western feel is there.

I had to track this one down, it was Brooks and Dunn brand and was one of my favorite shirts about 20 years ago. Unfortunately, I couldn't find a great picture of this style online, but I remember it well. Looking at it now- well, I'm sure there are plenty of 3 wolf moon shirt fans who'd rock this shirt (with irony, of course), but most of us wouldn't touch it. I think it's pretty safe to call it a western shirt though, albeit a very dated, odd one.

NSFW, lol

OMG, Sheplers. Panhandle Slim. WTF?!?!

 So, at first, I just saw another over done, scrolly monstrosity of shirt in this thing by Panhandle slim. But, always curious, I had to look closer. And I laughed out loud at this one, for real.

But perhaps this design was created as a western wear Rorschach test. What do you see?

Perhaps if you're pure of heart and clean of mind, you won't see this as lady bits. Me? I think it looks like a close up of a very hairy woman's genitals, spread eagle.

I can only hope that it was as intentional as it looks to be and that the designer did this as commentary on the douches who'd buy and wear it. That thought makes me smile.

Wear this, not that.

Sticking with Panhandle Slim again this week- they do some things so right and others so wrong.

Wear this:


Another retro styled shirt from Panhandle Slim, available from Cavenders. This might be a bit much for some folks, and for as much complaining as I do about things being overdone, you might not think I'd a fan of this shirt, but I love it. It's western to the core, from the design content to the cut of the shirt, and while it has a lot going on, it's all laid out beautifully. Admittedly, not a shirt for everyone, but I'd be happy to give it a home.

Not this:


Cavenders says this thing is a top seller. I don't want to believe them. It hurts my eyeballs with all that scrolling and decorative junk thrown on top of a striped shirt.

Tuesday Reality Check

Say you like the way scrolly decorations look. Sometimes they can be quite pretty, right? The problem arises when companies go completely crazy with them- they think, if one scroll sells, why not put 500 of them on a shirt, and everything goes to hell. Luckily, there are shirts out there that showcase that scrolly styling that aren't over the top and hideous.

Here's a shirt by Cattlelac Ranch (available at Sheplers) that has that urban style translated into an actual, recognizable western shirt, and I think that's just fine. It does have very current and trendy components in the embellishments- but they're tasteful, controlled and logically placed and the end result is a nice western shirt.

And here's one along the same lines made by Panhandle Slim. It works.

Mondays make me cross.

And today we have more garbage from Sheplers. Every single shirt on the linked page there belongs on this blog. They're all terrible in that same ol' Affliction kind of way.

This one is made by Rock & Roll Cowboy, and I guess if by "Rock & Roll" you mean "Nickleback" and by "Cowboy" you mean douchebag, then it's an aptly named brand. Of course it's a 'best seller' over there.

Now, I gather that Rock & Roll cowboy is Panhandle Slim. Which is alright- I wouldn't want these things so closely associated with my company's historic name if I was in charge of Panhandle Slim either. Going forward, we'll call these by their labels as stated by retailers- if they call them Rock and Roll, we'll go with that, if they call them Panhandle Slim, we'll go with that. Same thing with other brands where this exists.

Here we have an interesting contribution made by Petrol- the description reads- 'Urban cowboy approved Petrol apparel stands out on country guys!'

Guess it would, too. I always stare when I see someone walking down the street with a huge cross poorly photoshopped onto their shirt, don't you?

I'm not 100% sure this one belongs on a cross day- is it a tribal cross? Is it a tribal dagger? Is it a tribal goat leaping out of a tribal hole? Hard to say. But it is, without a doubt, up pretty high on the list of terrible shirts Panhandle Slim has put out.

Mommas don't let your babies-

Can we call CPS on Wrangler for these designs? 

Saturday Shootout

Which one is "western"?

Answer after the break

WTF?

Oh man. Here's another WTF item you can buy from Sheplers made by Cripple Creek. There's so much wrong with this dress I'm not even sure where to start. Definitely not western. Definitely not country. The graphic is trendy-ish, in that way we see so much of around here, with those lovely foil accents. But the way that lace up the side is screaming hair metal and the distressed vaguely acid washed look of the whole thing puts this dress in a class by itself, a class that could perhaps be called 'meth-addled trashy fashion 101.'

This is one Cripple Creek I ain't goin' up. In fact, I'd be goin' on a run away from this hideous skanky creation. I'm not at all familiar with this brand, so I can only hope this was a solitary bad release- the world doesn't need anything else of this nature, ever.

Wear this, not that.

Wear this:

Here's a beautiful Panhandle Slim shirt you can get from Cavenders for only 27 bucks. I love it. The floral embroidery is a little busy, but it's wonderfully contained within the yokes of the shirt and that makes it work. Throw on the classic smile pockets, pearly snaps and piping.. and it's a classic western winner.

Not this:

Here's an unfortunate Panhandle Slim shirt, also available through Cavenders. It costs more than twice as much as the above shirt ($75) and has that oversized super deco overdone cross nonsense that shouldn't ever have left Affliction land.