Happy Halloween!

We hope every last one of you is dressing up like a cowboy or cowgirl this year.

But hopefully not by wearing any of these!

Gimmee Gimmee- hat

I haven't made many posts on cowboy hats yet, but don't worry, I've got some in the works.

This will be my last Gimmee birthday post, and I wanted to share a hat I adore. It took me about 30 years to find a style that looks really good on me, so until recently, I only wore cowboy hats when I had to. Now that I know what I like, I need to expand my collection.

This Charlie 1 horse hat is totally ridiculous and borderline batshit crazy. But I freakin' love it. Tooled leather eagles? Yes, please.

Gimmee Gimmee

I'd seriously consider killin' a man for one of these Gram Parsons outfits from Manuel. It looks killer on black. I would wear this every single day if it was mine.

Gimmee Gimmee Boots

It's my birthday so I thought I'd make a few posts showcasing some of the things I lust after.

Today- boots. 

I've been dying for a pair of RocketBusters for years. Someday, oh, someday, I will own a pair. It's really hard for me to pick styles to put up here because honestly, I love almost all of their boots. When I do get mine, they'll be custom (and you can bet they'll say Ellie Monster on them somewhere), but here's a sampling of some of the reasons I love RocketBuster.

I'm also a big fan of Old Gringo- they made one of my favorite pairs of boots. I wouldn't mind getting these too. 

Good retailer: Country Outfitters.

I've done a lot of digging for this blog and I've become rather disenchanted with western wear as a whole. I've come to expect that every retailer I peek at will have something horrible in their mix that will tick me off, even if they're selling good stuff too.

So it really made my day when I cruised through Country Outfitter's website this morning. I keep looking, waiting for the hammer to fall, waiting to see silver foil, huge crosses, gratuitous scrolling and fleur de lis. It didn't come. Show 'em some love!

Wear this, not that.

This purse is made by American West and is available through Ranch Outlet. As an added bonus, you only have to spend $208 to carry around what reads to me as a corseted woman's torso with (of course) lots of crosses. 

Though, admittedly, it does have lovely tooling. If it wasn't such a weird shape and didn't have all the crosses, I'd probably dig it. So let's see what else this company makes...

Oh yeah. That's what I'm talking about. Lovely!

Good brands gone bad

Really Ariat, really? My theory- they bought up surplus Tripp pants from the early 2000's at a great price and made them into boots. While smoking crack, obviously, because this is a trend that should have died years ago. 

Mondays make me cross- for the home.

Penalty for excessive cross use. This isn't really western wear, it's "western decor" but it fits here. You can buy this bedding set from NRS World. I don't think the dog is included.

Also available: a cross made of crosses. No, I'm not kidding. It's a wall hanging. 

Still not enough crosses in your house? You can also get this god awful shower curtain. It's only 130 bucks, a real value there. 

Or maybe this one, at $149.99

Now, you want to make sure everyone who enters your house knows you REALLY love Jesus. So if you still have money, you need to get these too: (Note, most of these things are also over a hundred bucks a pop.)

On what planet?!

I made a post about The Corral's homepage as soon as I stumbled upon their site. It gets worse. Check out what you get when you click on "womens."

Dear The Corral Western Wear,

Please consider renaming your store. 

Thank you,

Western Wear

Saturday Shootout

Which is western? Answer after the jump.

Is that really something to brag about?

The Corral Western Wear's website made me giggle today with their "Items seen on The Real Housewives of Orange County" feature. I've only seen a few minutes of the show (though it might have been the housewives of somewhere else, I'm not sure). It didn't take me long to see it for the garbage it is. 

Marketing crappy "western" fashions to fans of crappy "reality" TV? Sounds like a winning combination.

For the record, I don't hate the boots above. They're not too bad.

WTF?

I just discovered "western sunglasses." I feel a little sick.

Sure, there are some western elements there, but hot gluing conchos and rhinestones to cheap sunglasses really isn't doing anyone any favors. My first hope was that this silliness was isolated, but apparently it isn't. 

These are from Teskeys, who have several similar styles. They're $85, which seems a bit steep for a look that could be done by first graders with some rocks and glue, but what the hell do I know? 

Wear this, not that.

Wear this: I really love this Rockmount style (buy it from Sputnik Ranch because they're awesome).

Not this: Rock and Roll Cowboy available from Sheplers. 

Tuesday reality check

I've made several posts on what is selling as western jewelry these days so this reality check is going to show some beautiful jewelry that IS western.

Turquoise. Rooted in Native American tradition, the relationship between western fashion and this rock is a long one. A great one too, in my opinion. Here are some beautiful bracelets from Teskeys.

And a killer bolo tie available here. 

Mondays make me cross.

Presenting, available from CowgirlKim, some acid wash/crystal yoga pants/top.

First, I'll let their words do the screaming:

MY LAST TRIP TO MARKET I WAS DETERMINED TO FIND SOMETHING MY CLIENTS COULD WEAR EVERY DAY BUT STILL STAND OUT IN THE HERD!  AND THEN MY EYES CAUGHT THESE EDGY FOLD OVER YOGA PANTS AND MINERAL DYED TOPS!  THEY LOOKED SO COMFORTABLE BUT STILL HAD THE EDGY BLING THAT'S COWGIRL KIM!  SO HERE THEY ARE LADIES!  EACH ITEM IS SOLD SEPARATELY SO YOU CAN MIX AND MATCH AND PICK THE SIZE THAT WORKS BEST FOR YOU!

BLINGY BIKER CROSS TEE!  $89

You can go work out in these, then head out for your day without having to change! Check out t shirts to compliment this look in another listing!

I haven't done a ton of Yoga, but I've done enough to be confident that having ten pounds of bling on your outfit while doing so wouldn't be very comfortable. This outfit would suck for yoga. 

It's also a tragic thing to suggest that people wear this outfit every day. This outfit might be appropriate for running to Walmart to pick up a new can of Axe deodorant for your man but it would be inappropriate to wear it most other places. I guess if you were going to a county fair in 2004, looking to pick up some hot carnies, it might be a good pick for that too.

Obviously, there's nothing western, nothing cowgirl, about this garbage. Add in its $90 a piece price tag and you have a near perfect picture of douchebaggery. And if you need just a little bit more, of course CowgirlKim has you covered with tons of other items to make you cross.

Mildly amusing- POS clothing

Ran across this video while wasting time in cheeseburger cat land the other day and figured I would share it with you.

Saturday Shootout

Which is western? Answer after the jump.

More "western" jewelry.

Today, let's look at these bangles from Rods.

And these from Teskeys.

They're not terrible plastic bracelets with rhinestones. But, as always, not western by a long shot. 

And you can save yourself a few bucks by buying them through a retailer who isn't trying to sell them as something they aren't. That's always a nice bonus!

Western, yes. Bizarre? Very!

Do you folks know western wear is a big thing in kiddie pageants? I recently learned that, and let me tell you, it's really strange. There are a lot of truly western elements in these outfits and honestly, some of them are rather spectacular. I find it hard to get past everything else though and those non-western elements of waxing and tanning and painting toddlers manage to ruin the package for me.

This is from The Pageant Place. 

This is from here.

And, of course, some of them are just bat shit crazy. These are from a pageant wear consignment site.